Wine festival

Friday I had dinner with myB's mom and brother before the football game. Yum! Steak, potatoes, salad, Cheerwine, and key lime pie. (Cheerwine is like Carolina Faygo.) It was all sorts of fun and delicious.

Then I drove back to school for the football game. I got there about 15 minutes before kickoff. It seems football is a bigger deal than I expected. There was not a single parking space. I mean that all of the regular spots were taken, all of the grass spots were taken, and all of the sidewalks were taken. The areas that required driving over curbs were even full (though Jessica would have gone there in a heartbeat). So I went home and watched the game on TV. Yeah, they broadcast football games live. High school football games. Pressure? Expectations? Yeah. I think it's a bit over the top for that level of play.

Which brings us to today. myB's mom invited me to Green Creek Winery for their harvest festival. Instead of going to the blessing of the grapes, we went to the Junction. (I wrote about my last time there in this post.) myB's grandpa couldn't join us, so we snuck a bunch of fat back out in grandma's purse for him. Then to the winery!

(Sorry for the quality of the pics. I left my camera at school over the weekend and used my phone.)


They advertised grape stomping. This was apparently the apparatus for said stomping. They didn't do it while we were there.


There were a few vendors selling local wood craft, local pottery, and some jewelry from one of those catalogs of really expensive and gaudy jewelry that many women use as a supplement to their income by hosting parties and selling it. Except it was being sold here. When I was looking it over, there was a great English (or north Bostonian) woman with her parasol to keep off the sun who wanted to make sure that the bag she was using wasn't going to bend her new earrings.


There was live entertainment, what appeared to be a husband/wife, guitar/keyboard instrument duet called "Minor Adjustments". Utterly forgettable. That's why I framed them so far back.


Special guests: Ethel and Lucy! For the stomping, of course. You do know what the reference is, right? Please? Don't make me feel that old.


There were also a bunch of politicians there, including Kay Hagan, the woman who is running to oppose Senator Dole. Don't get me started on Dole or Hagan. I had lots of people wanting to register me to vote for them or take their literature. They weren't happy to learn I was from the next state down. Sorry for the awful quality of this. The woman in pink (who really was fairly fit) just slumped down and my camera autofocused on her back instead of Hagan.


We're planning on going back at some point to have a tour of the production process. They bill themselves as the inventors of the first red chardonnay. I'm not sure that's a good thing.

The morning welcome committee

Yesterday morning. Not what one wants to have greeting one at 5:00 a.m. myB tells me they are just common to find in houses down here. That doesn't make me feel any better. When I told my students about it, they had two reactions: (1) laughing at me for being freaked out by a cockroach and (2) amazed that Michigan was actually so cold that they couldn't survive there. I believe they now think Michigan = Antarctica. Wev, just so long as the roach traps/bait I bought work.

Are you there, Fay? It's me, Joel

Thank you. *sniff*

Just one question

Why were those Chinese performers hitting those poor humongous wheels of cheese? What did the cheese ever do to them?

Mood for the day

I got a card from myB the other day. I still haven't finished reading it...made me cry. And you know how good those English majors are with words and stuff. Made me start missing everyone again.

(The comic is from the genius site Garfield Minus Garfield. Give it a look.)

Review: Centre Stage's "Tomfoolery"

My first foray into the theatre scene here in Greenville was to see "Tomfoolery", a tour of the songs of Tom Lehrer, at Centre Stage ("Greenville's Professional Theater").

Tom Lehrer got his undergraduate degree in mathematics from Harvard, then became the premiere satiracal songwriter of the 1950s, 1960s, and even a bit into the 1970s. Logical progression, no? Both Weird Al and Dr. Demento consider him one of the greats in satire and comedy writing.

Centre Stage is a small theater that holds somewhere between 200 and 300 audience members in a highly raked stadium-type seating with the stage at ground level. The performance space is small with no separation between the audience and the actors. This performance utilized its space wonderfully, often sending the actors into the audience and interacting with the audience many times. The set consisted of a single wall on a raised platform, two stools, a bench, and a piano and keyboard situated stage left for the lone musician.

I've been a Tom Lehrer fan for years, and already owned the cast recording of the original London production, produced by Cameron Mackintosh, no less! A few of the songs on that 1981 recording were missing from this show, to no loss, and some great songs took their places.

With only a few exceptions (Vatican Rag, She's My Girl, The Old Dope Peddler), the writing was outstanding. The main problems with these specific songs is that every other song was so over-the-top and so beyond the pale, these few just felt too normal and conventional. Vatican Rag just really doesn't work, and I don't think ever has. It's a great idea (the Catholic church has updated their liturgical hymnbook with more contemporary song styles: "Two, four, six, eight, it's time to transsubstantiate!") but I'm not sure any actors could pull this song off.

The rest of the show was brilliant, and several songs were updated to make the satire more timely and a couple times localized. The updating was great, including references to the current presidential race. The localization felt forced, as it often does. References to the local river or nearby cities jarred me out of the illusion of the show. With a cast of four plus a keyboardist, who often functioned effectively as a fifth member of the cast, every person needs to be at the top of their game the entire show, and this cast did not disappoint the audience. Special notice needs to go to Debra Capps and Chris White. In a show that requires actors to leave any self-consciousness at the door, Chris and Debra dove into their roles with amazing gusto.

Angie Price pulled off the two most difficult songs in the show with almost no effort. "The Elements", a listing of the elements of the period table sung to the tune of "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General", at tempo, and "New Math", wherein she teaches a lesson in song on subtraction involving borrowing renaming in both base 10 and base 8. Extraordinarily difficult and executed brilliantly.

A great show to see and a great show to perform when there is a small space, limited cast availability, and small band. I can't wait to see the next show at Centre Stage.

BTW: You should scroll back up to the top and click on the Centre Stage link and find the sexy cowboy they are using in their ads this season. Click on the "Season" tab. Definitely worth it!

My Confession

Okay, Fay, I'm big enough to admit when I've been proven wrong. You may not have come on strong, but you've got the staying power, girlfriend! Hitting Florida three four times, dumping almost a yard of water, stalling near St. Augustine, and just to show me you were listening sending a little cell of rain up here.

I was wrong about you. I admit it. Enjoy your stay in the South.

Questions for Americans, Part VI

(Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

21. How do we speak out and how do you plan to do something about [human trafficking and slavery, including sex traffic and slavery]?

See above. Human traffickers and their clients need to be vigorously pursued and prosecuted, and if the countries of primary jurisdiction won't prosecute, they need to be tried in any country they have ever done business in until the international community can make it too risky to engage in this trafficking. It will take international cooperation, primarily through the United Nations.

22. Why do you want to be president?

[Insert stump speech here.]

23. What do you say to people who oppose me asking you these questions [in a church]?

The way Warren asked Senator Obama this question, he made it sound as if it were about him ("What do you say to people who oppose me asking you these questions?" implied emphasis on the me.) He clarified when he asked Senator McCain by asking the entire question you see above. The first version didn't make much sense to me. Anybody should be able to ask presidential candidates reasonable questions. But since he clarified and gave me the opening, I'll bite.

We have a long tradition of separation of church and state in the US. While this separation is not directly Constitutional, we do have an establishment clause in the Constitution, and the separation does date to the writings of the same man who drafted the Declaration of Independence. It's generally pointless arguing original intent of the founding fathers when they never specifically address an issue (like abortion, gay marriage, pornography, etc.), but in this case we have direct writing on a specific issue from one of the crafters of the country's founding documents!

What tends to happen, and this is exactly what's happening with McCain, is that people get so hung up on the minutæ of religion and religious beliefs that they ignore everything else. Does the flavor of christianity of a candidate really matter when the country is approaching a recession while involved in two wars and presumably facing daily threats of international terrorism? Does it really matter what name is on the front of a candiate's church (if they even go to church) if they have a comprehensive energy and economic plan?

It should not. And this is the problem with having this forum in a church. Both candidates appear to be running for the position of Preacher-In-Chief. No other location or moderator would give such an impression. If they had this forum in the Staples Center and were interviewed by Bobby Knight, nobody would assume they were trying to win over basketball fans, nor that their choice of who they cheer for would make that much of a difference in their campaign.

Warren has been quite outspoken about the candidates, clearly supporting Republican candidates over Democrats, and whatever candidate "wins" the forum will be presumed to be the choice of evangelical christians across the country and assumed to support the doctrine of the Lake Forest church.

This is a two-fold problem. The evangelical vote is a very loud minority who wants to do away with many of the United Nations' human rights, and both candidates have fallen into the trap of trying to appease and win their vocal support. Does a candidate really want to be associated with diminution of human rights? Second, we've already seen on a national scale what happens to candidates who are too closely associated with a specific church doctrine. Both Senator Obama and Senator McCain have faced criticism based on their pastors' public statements. Why should they get involved with another outspoken pastor whose theology will now get scrutinized and criticized? Why would either candidate want to potentially open himself up to such criticism? A person's choice in belief systems is their own. One may be able to glean some insight about what the candidates think about social issues, or the economy, or globalism, by knowing their specific religious beliefs, but why not just ask them about social issues, the economy, or globalism?

I didn't read the candidates' responses to this question. I'm not interested in what they say because the reason is obvious: they want the vociferous evangelicals to start chanting their names from the pulpets.

24. What would you tell the American public if you knew there wouldn’t be any repercussions?

Let's assume he meant negative repercussions. How about, "If you want governmental social programs, a clean environment, and peace and security, you have one option: pay more taxes. The government can not provide services, and clean and protect the air and water, and provide armed forces and security without money to pay for them. Upset about soldiers not getting enough protective equipment? Pony up for it. Upset that it takes too long for the government to fix your roads? Pony up for it. Upset that college is costing you too much out of pocket? You're going to have to pay more taxes for the government to put more money into the schools. Government may print the money, but they can't make it appear out of nothing."

I will derive

Turn it up and get ready to dance.

Questions for Americans, Part V

(Parts 1, 2, 3, 4)

17. What’s worth dying for? What’s worth having sacrifice of American lives for?

I would die to protect my friends or family. There are very few ideas that I would be willing to die for, but to die for a person is a different matter.

To sacrifice American lives one should have willing combatants fighting for the survival of America or justified in the name of human rights violations. I have no problem with a draft if it is for the survival of the country, but that hasn't been necessary since either the war of 1812 or the Civil War, depending on how you view it.

18. What would be the criteria that you would commit troops to end the genocide, for instance, like what's going on in Darfur or could happen in Georgia or anywhere else, a mass killing?

The UN has established thirty basic human rights. If the UN decides that the rights are being violated and other means have been exhausted, meaning military action is the last resort, then troops should be mobilized along with other troops from other countries. Of course, this requires proactive stances on global justice and human rights, not waiting for the genocide to begin before starting negotiations. That would be an administrative and ambassadorial policy change.

19. Would you be willing to consider and even commit to doing some kind of emergency plan for orphans like President Bush did with AIDS almost a President's emergency plan for orphans to deal with this issue?

The transcriber had written "other fan" for "orphan", and it took me a bit to figure out what they meant when I saw "148 million other fans around the world". Tee-hee.

PEPFAR was a great piece of legislation on the whole. However, much of the orphan problem stems from lack of action from rich governments over the past decades. Allowing AIDS to run rampant in the underdeveloped nations is a sin against human rights that future generations will be ashamed of. Many millions of these orphans are alone because their parents died of preventable disease, including HIV/AIDS. Regarding AIDS prevention as a matter of abstinence denies basic facts and repeated research.

I do not believe an emergency plan on orphans would be useful. That's like a patient coming into the doctor with a severe fever, and the doctor only prescribing an antifebrile. Treating the symptoms won't help without treating the cause. Continued comprehensive HIV/AIDS prevention and treatment, other disease-fighting programs, reduction in wars and genocide prevention, refugee aid, and sewage treatment around the world will save lives and prevent orphans.

20. Religious persecution, what do you think the US should do to end religious persecution for instance in China, in Iraq and in many of our allies. I'm not just talking about persecution of Christianity, particularly with the persecution around the world that persecutes millions of people?

The first part of that question I wanted to interpret as: What do you think the US should do to end persecution of people by religions? It's clear that isn't what Warren wanted to ask. Warren wanted to know how the US can protect the spread of christianity around the world. This IS NOT and SHOULD NOT be a priority of the government. There is a difference between protecting people from persecution and making it easier to spread one particular religion.

Here's an interesting fact: the vast majority of religious persecution is at the hand of, wait for it, religious leaders. That's right. Christians are persecuted by muslims, muslims are persecuted by christians and jews, hindus are persecuted by all of the above. Athiests are especially persecuted in the media and culture, not to mention in jobs, in the US. Any human rights that are violated need to be addresses as above. Or, to quote John Lennon, "Imagine...nothing to kill or die for, and no religion too, imagine all the people living life in peace." Getting rid of religion won't end world conflicts, but think of how many fewer there'd be.

Questions for Americans, Part IV

(Parts 1, 2, 3)

13. Would you insist that faith based organizations forfeit that right [to hire people who share their beliefs] to access federal funds?

Another question that doesn't ask what it's really asking. Any group that receives federal funding for providing services to the community must follow all non-discrimination policies of the federal government. The question isn't whether they can hire people who share their beliefs, but whether they will be forced to hire people who do not share their beliefs. And the answer is obvious to me: you take the government's money, you are subject to the government's rules, including equal employment. It may be that the churches/FBOs are in the best positions to provide services to a community, but if they are providing discriminatory services, they have no business acting on the government's behalf and should be excluded from access to funding.

This is not, as many like to claim, an imposition on or limitation on their ability to practice their own religion. They are welcome to so what they like, fulfilling their own missions, with their own money and free from governmental interference. Once they start taking money to act as a branch of the government, they have to follow all the same rules as any other branch.

14. Do you think good teachers should make more than poor teachers?

This is yet another question loaded with presuppositions that just avoids what Warren wants to ask: Should there be merit pay instituted for teachers based on test scores?

Teachers are held to professional standards, yet treated like McDonald's line workers. In what other industries must there be constant education and recertification? Professional engineers, lawyers, etc. Now substitute any of those for "teachers" in the above question. See how meaningless it is?

Once teachers are paid commensurate with their education level and work responsibilities, then we can discuss merit pay. Very few teachers actually take a summer vacation; most use the summer for classes, planning for the next year, or otherwise improving their own professionalism. Do you really believe that educating children is one of the most important roles in society today? Then you have to prove it by paying the people who do the job in accordance with their importance.

Once that is established, why not reward teachers who do exceptionally well? Instead of punishing teachers whose test scores are below average, how about figuring out what the problem is and giving them help?

15. Define “rich.” Give me a number.

There used to be a clear distinction between the rich and the poor. Now there is a vast middle class and the wealth distinctions are faded. I would define the rich as those in the top 20% of earners in an economy. I don't know what income level that is, but I do know that I'm not anywhere near it!

16. When our right to privacy and our right to national security collide, how do you decide what takes precedent?

This was also asked of Senator McCain only. Let me put it simply: those who would sacrifice individual rights for national security deserve neither.

Questions for Americans, Part III

(Parts 1, 2)

10. Do we still need funding for [stem cell] research? Would you still support that for embryo stem cells?

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. Stem cells have been shown to have many therapeutic and research potentials and the research should absolutely continue and grow. Embryonic stem cells have never been and will never be made from babies that are aborted for the purpose of harvesting stem cells. There are plenty of sources of stem cell lines that don't even include fetuses that have started developing within a woman's body.

11. Does evil exist and if it does do we ignore it, do we negotiate with it, do we contain it or do we defeat it?

Um, like some evil force that takes human shape to try to destroy the world? No, wait, that was on Buffy and all sorts of other fantasy media. This question is so loaded with presuppositions it basically collapses under its own weight. Let me reframe it.

"When people do evil things, do we ignore them, negotiate with them, contain them, or defeat them?"

There, that makes sense. People make choices, and people often make choices that harm others. Can we ignore them? Sometimes, if the harm isn't great, it is best to let the harmed party address it. Do we negotiate with it? Sometimes people aren't aware that their choices are harming others and simple negotiation can solve the problem. Do we contain it? If necessary. That's what jails are for. Do we defeat it? If possible, through education, social action, and social pressure. The best way to defeat bad choices is to prevent them.

12. Which existing Supreme Court justice would you not have nominated?

Chief Justice Robert is an accomplished jurist, for sure, but in my opinion he is too young and too beholden to the administration to be taken completely seriously at this point. He is certainly a political appointee who got the job because he agreed with the current administration on every point. His opinions since taking the post have shown that he is not as free from the political biases as a Supreme Court justice should be.

My first hurricane

So I was going to get all excited about my first experience with tropical weather system. There would be a series of daily posts tracking the path of tropical storm hurricane tropical storm Fay and up-to-the-minute reports of how much rain we were getting and how severe the weather was.

Yeah.

Fay just couldn't get it together. That's right, Fay. I'm calling you out. You weak-willed bunch of clouds. What are you? Afraid of little old me? Can't even get the minimum wind speed or organization to be considered even a category one hurricane. Sheesh. Oh, and now you're going to head away from here?

You, Fay, totally ruin the street cred of tropical weather systems everywhere.

Questions for Americans, Part II

(Part 1)

5. What's the most gut wrenching decision you've ever had to make and how did you process that, come to that decision?

Obviously this was moving away to South Carolina last month. The decision was a long one, starting back in the spring when I started looking out-of-state "just in case" I couldn't find a job locally. As the weeks went on, and I interviewed here and in Michigan, it became increasingly clear that I was going to have to move. I had no other options left aside from moving back in with my parents and living off of their largesse. I've done that twice already for health reasons, and they have helped me so much it was fundamentally unfair of me to impose that on them again. The decision was fraught with tears and waffling, excitement and fear, but it has been made, and followed through.

6. What does [faith in Jesus Christ] mean to you? What does it mean to you to trust in Christ and what does it mean on a daily basis? I mean, what does that really look like?

As a side note, Warren tried to play this question off as well, we got more than 2000 question suggestions from our audience and I had to pick one to ask, implying that if it were up to him he wouldn't have asked. I call BS. The reason for this forum was to elucidate which candidate was the "christian" one and which wasn't. Asking this question was pure spectacle, pandering to the sheep who hang on his every word.

Faith in Jesus Christ should be a positive emotional experience for people. It should make people feel better about themselves (i.e., that they are saved) and work for the betterment of others (cf. the sermon on the mount). It may include acts as benign as daily prayer, weekly church gatherings, and Bible study.

Thanks to the reparative therapy counselor I had in college, I learned that I do not need to rely on some imaginary force to realize my own worth. I don't need an angry sky-father threatening me with eternal torture to make me do good things for myself and those around me. I don't need to profess faith in and unswerving loyalty to any human to secure any place in Valhalla, Nirvana or heaven.

In my life, I make choices based on what I see, what I can verify, and what provides actual help to those around me. If someone is emotionally hurt, which is more helpful: to sit and listen to them or to tell them you'll pray for them then walk away? I'm not saying those two things are mutually exclusive. Many people do pray for them AND sit and listen, and those are the people who are acting most like Jesus. What I'm saying is that I will do what actually helps and ignore what has no basis in reality.

7. At what point does a baby get human rights?

The question begs its own answer: when it is a baby! Until it's born, it is a fetus. Does that mean that fetuses can't be protected? Of course not, but they get their protection and rights through the rights of the mothers. It makes no sense to give individual rights to things that can't survive outside their mothers' bodies!

If one tries to give rights at conception, one would have to realize that as many as 40% of fertilized eggs never implant and a certain percentage spontaneously abort shortly after implantation, before the mother has even felt any effects and before any pregnancy test can detect it. Many other pregnancies spontaneously abort because there is some defect in the fetus that would make it unable to survive to term or outside the womb. Who then gets charged with the deaths? Does the government take entire control of the mother while she's pregnant to make sure she's doing everything right, or should they charge a mother with manslaughter or homicide if there is a miscarriage?

And this was the point of the question: governmental control of a woman's body. A body of power remains in power by suppressing everyone who isn't in power. A patriarchy works by oppressing women, children, and everyone outside their group. If we believe that humans have rights, we must give women control over their own bodies, and that includes what is inside their bodies. To address the unasked question: Abortion rights must be preserved. Comprehensive sexual education must be provided to every person so that appropriate and healthy choices can be made. It's no coincidence that unintended pregnancies occur most often among the poor (who can't afford contraceptive services) and the undereducated (who don't know enough about how to take control of their own reproduction).

8. How do you define marriage? Would you support a Constitutional Amendment with that definition?

There are two types of marriage, and most people who get married participate in both without realizing it. There is religious/spiritual marriage, generally blessed by a religious leader within the constraints of a certain religion. In these marriages, the religion can define who is elegible to get married and what circumstances lead to marriage (or dissolve the marriage). Most religions use marriage in a bit of circular logic: marriages are legimating acts for sex, and generally procreation, and any marriage that isn't consummated by having sex aren't true marriages. Some christian sects, like the Roman Catholics, actually define consummation in fairly graphic and specific detail.

The other type of marriage is one based on secular, civil laws. These are regulated by the state and legitimate property and inheritance. It's only been very recently that "love" has been the defining characteristic of a marriage. Since in civil marriage procreation has no sway, the genders of those engaging in this legal partnership should not matter.

Another unasked question: should gays and lesbians get married? Yes. It is the height of hypocrisy to say that gays and lesbians should get all the equal rights of marriage, but not be able to marry. We went through a period of similar laws based on a false premise of "separate but equal." It is also highly hypocritical to deny the existence of lesbians and gays, attempt to legislate that sex is only right in the bounds of a marriage, then deny marriage to a substantial portion of the population. Since the sex-based definition of marriage is religious, denying marriage rights based on sex illegally (in my opinion) imposes the views of a religion on the population as a whole.

A Constitutional amendment has never been used but once to deny rights, and that was removed by another amendment in short time. Amendments grant rights and clarify rights.

9. Was the Supreme Court of California wrong?

This was asked of Senator McCain only. It refers either to the decision to grant same-sex couples the right to marry in the state, or the decision to reword the proposed amendment to reflect that it would remove existing marriage rights. Whatever the meaning of the question, I think the court was exactly right.

Questions for Americans, Part I

By my count, and from the unofficial transcript, I found 24 questions (two of which were asked only of Senator McCain since he answers were much shorter than Senator Obama's and best-selling author Warren had extra time). That's too much for one post, so I'm going to break it up a bit.

I preserved the original wording, and where the wording was different between Obama and McCain, I kept the wording when Obama was asked. The wording differences never changed the essential meaning of the question. So any weirdness with construction of the questions are purely from Warren's mouth. I'm not going to mock how he asked the questions, except the ones that have no meaning, because I know that recording a word-by-word transcript often gives results that look horrible on paper.

I also have the benefit of being able to think about what I say and edit what I put down here. in reading the transcript, I tried to skip over the candidates' answers, but do know basically how each responded. I'll try not to let that influence my answers.

1. How are you doing? (This was asked of both candidates, so I'm including it.)

I'm doing fine. A bit concerned about not having all my tools for the first day of school, but otherwise OK.

2. Who are the three wisest people you know in your life and who are you going to rely on heavily in your administration?

Both parts of this question have the same answer, as I'm pretty sure Warren intended it. My parents are probably the wisest people in my life. I regularly turn to them for advide. myB also makes my top three. I don't always agree with him, but can count on him to give me a reasoned and logical reading of any situation and counter my frequent bursts of emotionality. For the third spot, I'd have to put the collective wisdom of my close OCP friends. The wisdom of a group often surpasses the wisdom of any individual in that group, and I'm grateful for advice I've recieved from all of them and will continue to seek their advice.

3. What would be the greatest moral failure of your life and what would be the greatest moral failure of America?

In my own life, my greatest moral failure would be denying who I was for so many years and refusing to speak up for those who were being oppressed out of fear that I would be targeted.

America's greatest moral failure is confusing "what's good for those in power" with "what's good for everyone." Economic and social policies, both domestically and around the world, are designed to secure and protect the power of the powerful. Corporate lobbyists, through their money, have a strong voice and can convince the American government that what has worked for corporations will work everywhere. This problem transcends political parties and has been a problem since the birth of the country. What I find most frustrating is that we have, in recent decades, had many studies and proposals that take into account the differences in needs of the dispossessed, and the American government and people ignore it. Yes, I implicate the people as well as the government; throwing money at nameless charity may assuage some guilt but rarely solves any actual problems.

4. What's the most significant position you held ten years ago that you no longer hold today, that you flipped on, you changed on because you actually see it differently?

The importance, utility, and veracity of religion. Discuss.

Avoidance tactics

So, in order to not sit yelling at my TV, I completely ignored the Saddleback Church "debate" on Saturday. And I'm not going to use the blog to spew about Rick Warren (the self-aggrandizing hypocrite) or the event he came up with (what? are they running for Pope?), I'm going to get a list of the questions he asked both candidates and answer them myself in my next post. This might be a good exercise; I really don't know what all the questions are. myB watched and told me the highlights, but if those questions are so important for the candidates, I think it might be good for all Americans to consider their own responses and compare them to the candidates' responses.

As I said, I didn't watch, so I don't know their responses to all the questions, just what myB told me and what I've seen in skimming articles looking for a list of the questions. I won't be commenting on Senator Obama's or Senator McCain's responses in this post. Feel free to put your own responses to the questions in the comments in the next post.

Food, Glorious Southern Food

It's a bit difficult to make me feel stupid, yet the last two days I've had meals that just boggle my mind.

One might think that American food is American food, but there are some pretty distinct differences that have caused me to ask whoever is standing next to me, "Sorry if this makes me sound stupid, but what is that?" Do you know how difficult it is to ask that question without sounding offended or horrified by what I see?

Now, my dietary restrictions make it necessary that I know what is in everything I eat, so I'm used to asking in a restaurant, "Pardon me, but does your version of rice pilaf contain corn?" But asking what a food item is simply because I can't figure it out is kind of new territory.

Fortunately the main courses were easy enough: baked chicken, fried chicken, country-fried pork. Yeah, every meal has been served with fried chicken and it is glorious. But here's a partial list of what I couldn't identify:

• Chicken dumplings: It seems in the south the word "dumpling" is a bit more flexible, in this case referring to flat noodle-like additions to the stew portion. myB tells me it's also often referred to as "chicken slick." I don't even want to consider.
• Green beans: Pronounced with heavy emphasis on the first word. I've seen green beans cooked before. But this was unlike any green beans I'd ever seen. (brilliantine, clean, careen, e'en, glean, jean, lean, mean, queen, tureen, wean; wanted to get that vowel sound out of my system) They appeared to have diameters at least twice what I ever see, and were cut into about one-inch pieces, and were quite gray with no sauce on them. Nobody batted an eye and took lots, so I assume this was normal.
• Fat back: Not just a concern in brassiere-purchasing any more! This is actually a food item. Do you really want to know? Fine. It's essentially bacon made from pig skin and the layer of fat just under the skin. Looks kind of like french fries if you don't focus; you can tell what side was the skin if you do focus. I'm told it tastes like bacon. I will never know first-hand.
• Collard greens: A very stereotyped southern dish. I'd heard of them but never actually seen them. They look deceptively like cooked chopped spinach, but were being served in a huge pan and weren't mushy like spinach gets after about 14 seconds. Not offensive or scary in any way, I just avoided them in case.
• Fried squash: These looked like little fried cakes made of bread crumbs and some vegetable. It seems you make them by slicing a squash, dip and bread it, then deep fry it. Skin and seeds, held together by a little fiber-y pulp and oil-crisped bread crumbs and egg wash. Heck, throw a bit of jalapeño in there and I'll have everything I can't eat!

Cobbler was also served with everything, both peach and apple. And, of course, sweet tea, which I love just fine. I'm lucking out that I can always pull my I'm-just-a-dumb-yankee-please-explain-how-civilized-life-works act when I need something. And they are all so very helpful. Comes from good breeding, right, myB?

Two observations

Observation 1:

It appears to be universal that when one encounters a large truck bearing multiple patriotic and religious displays, along with a handicapped license plate, one can be reasonably certain the word "handicapped" refers at least in part to the driver's mental capacity and ability to drive.

Observation 2:

As I was enjoying a refreshing glass of ice water from my Brita(R)-filtered water pitcher to quench that nagging thirst that only the crisp taste of Brita(R)-filtered water can quench (free swag? Please? Email for where to send my stuff!), I noticed something shocking:


No, not that I am an extraordinarily talented facial actor, or that my chair is pink (shut it, it was free), or that my hair has preternatural spikiness, but rather that China modeled their water cube thingy National Aquatics Center on my old trusty plastic Wal-Mart(R) tumblers!


As always, click to embiggen.

Around Town and To School

Key difference between Michigan and South Carolina: directions that roads run. In Michigan, direction-challenged people like me have a built-in safety feature: if I miss a road, I simply take the next one, do a bit of a loop, and end up where I wanted to go anyway. In South Carolina (and North Carolina, for that matter), roads are laid with no respect to compass, landmark, or settlement. Miss a turn? Pull into the next driveway immediately and turn back. Roads also rarely meet at right angles, and few keep their same names for more than a couple miles. Puts one in the mind of spaghetti thrown up on a piece of paper. "Oh, look, this big piece just happens to pass through that city. Hallelujah!"

Fortunately, just up the road from me (I will still refer to cardinal directions, thank you very much), north on the highway that runs by my apartment, is a complex with a McDonalds, a decent coffee shop with free wireless Internet, a restaurant called ThaiCoon, which makes me wonder if it's a racist way to say they serve Asian-soul fusion food, and the Publix grocery store.

Coming out of the grocery store, I always think there are these dark clouds in the eastern sky, but no, it's just Paris Mountain.


Thoughtful of them to put those radio towers right up there on top so we flat-landers would be able to recognize the mountain, no?

We took a trip up to my school, traveling what are labeled as state highways on the map, but remind me more of Copas Road fifteen years ago, but only the fun parts and lots of hills as well as curves. You know what I mean. At least the right ones of you do. Again with the name changes (I stay on the same road but it goes through five names in the twenty minutes I spend on it). Across a body of water they call a lake but is really a backed-up river, by some clay pits, and we arrive at school!


I am blocking out the name of my school on this site, even though a little digging could easily turn up where I work, just to be professional. I braved the giant Nemo in the window behind me for this well-framed shot by my mother.

After meeting with the administration, I got my course assignments, handbook with map (look, right angles do exist down here!), mascot tiger, and some of my textbooks and ancillary materials for first semester.



Then, my big moment, my classroom!




See that white thing bolted to the wall with the orange doo-hickey on the arm above it? It's called a Promethean Board. Those of you who are teachers may recognize its less-advanced cousin the SmartBoard. Not only does it project what is on the computer screen onto the boaed, it turns the board into a touch-sensitive device. That means to drag something across the screen, just drag it on the board with your finger. Want to write a note on the board? There's a special pen that writes on whatever is on the screen with digital ink, giving you the option of saving or printing exactly what the board looks like. And it's built tough for kids to use. Can you tell I'm excited? I'm the only new science teacher with one. Hooray for me!

The New Place

So after 14 hours of driving, we finally arrived at my apartment complex. It's near a university, a golf club, and a state park (the mountain namesake of the park looms up over the apartments), and about a half hour from school. Yeah, it's a bit far away, but this is a two-bedroom, 1.5 bath, two story townhouse-style apartment. Very nice, and very affordable. Besides, all of the apartment complexes I found online were about the same distance from school, five or take five minutes. But with gas at $3.49 (cash), it's a bit more affordable!

So here is the part of the complex. Mine is the third door from the left. And I get both floors! And that is my car and my U-Haul out front. U-Haul made me pay for five days, so we took two days to unload it.


A close-up of my undecorated door. I need something to put there on the outside. I can't have any signs in the windows, but I can have a small, tasteful decoration on the door. Any suggestions? (Let's keep it family-friendly and remember that I am in the wrinkled-leathery spine of the bible belt.)

One of two (count 'em, two!) pools available for residents. The one nearest to me is smaller and closes at 5:00, but this one is open until 10:00. Lots of people enjoying it every time I go by. They also have dumpsters for residents and three laundry facilities, which have all worked really well. So far. I'm sure something will go wrong at some point. You know, someone is washing their grits-stained coveralls and it jams up the machine...


myB and I found this great family restaurant called Gene's between my place and downtown. For $3.99 we each got two eggs, choice of meat, a huge helping of grits, and unlimited coffee. Yummy. There are even caricatures pastel portraits of Gene's family members, larger that life, on the back wall along with newspaper clippings from decades ago that probably meant something to someone at some point. myB said he knew it was quality because there was an old black woman in the kitchen making biscuits. All in all, a great experience and highly recommended.


Kasia helped with the unpacking by making sure the bed linens didn't escape the closet. I swear the closet was closed when I left...

Oh, Kwame

Oh, oh, oh, Kwame. As soon as I tell anyone down here that I'm from Michigan, inevitably their first questions include, "Are you from Detroit?" and "Did you go to that school that Appalachian State beat last year?" and "What is going on with that mayor?" Then I have to tell them. Sure I get a little joy out of it, but it's still pretty embarrassing that all anyone knows Michigan for these days is Kwame's multiple felonies (alleged) and the death of its auto industry.

Can someone in Michigan do something good that gets picked up by the national media? Please?

Packing up and moving out

After nearly two years in the house on Oakwood, actually one day short of two years, it was time to pack up and move 740 miles south. Fortunately I have great family and friends. With my schoolwork all due right around the time I moved, I spent a lot of time sitting and typing while everyone else packed and cleaned.

And, yes, I did feel guilty comma.

Early the next morning we were off: me driving the huge U-Haul towing my car behind with myB navigating, my parents following with Kasia. Poor girl. She cried the whole way down and she usually loves riding in the car.

I know you can't see, but my car is packed with all my electronic equipment, I figured the soft seats were a better cushion than being in the back of the U-Haul, and then we covered them with all my hanging clothes and a couple light-colored blankets to keep it a bit cooler. We wasted no space whatsoever!

As a side note, do you know expensive U-Hauls are? I had to pay $1400 up front, and that didn't include any extra insurance or gas. Thank goodness I didn't need the insurance, but I spent well over $500 in gas. Yikes!

We spent the night in Lexington, thanks to my parents. Kas slept with myB and I, and seemed much more well-adjusted then. This, of course, after spending hours prowling around the hotel room getting into every corner and on top of every horizontal surface.

The next morning after a quick breakfast we were off again, east to North Carolina then south to Greenville. This is what Google maps can't tell you: driving in mountains sucks and is scary as hell, espeically when driving an oversized moving van towing a car in heavy traffic. Oh, yes, I drove I-40 across the TN/NC border. I think the steering wheel still has the imprints of my fingers in it. myB was very encouraging, even pretending for my sake that there weren't humongously tall walls of granite on both sides of us that were constantly waving and leaning over the road, ready to crush us at any second, should the whimsy strike them. I'm sure they might be beautiful, from a distance, when they are in a good mood, but no thank you.

We got into South Carolina and made it to the apartment complex about half an hour before they closed for the day, I got my apartment, and we moved me in, but that's another post! (There is a sign in this last pic that says "Welcome to South Carolina", but it is extremely difficult to get pictures of signs like that at 60 mph.)

Apologies and Promises

Usually I don't put much stock in either of these things, but let's give it a go. The last time I tried to get this blog going, I had just lost my job and got overwhelmed finding ways to keep myself solvent, meaning I had very little time. Now that I am at a definite break in the flow of things in my life, I think this will be a good time to resurrect this. It'll be an easy way to stay in touch with my wives and friends back home and vent a bit when necessary.

I've been here over a week now, but don't worry, I'll get all caught up with the blog posting, including pictures. Please feel free to write me in the comments or on Facebook or to my email address. I want to know what's going on in your lives, too!